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Just for laughs

Technical Support - New Husband installed

Just Married your Man? - Read on

Hello Technical Support - I've got a problem:

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend to Husband and noticed a distinct
slowdown in overall system performance -- particularly in the flower and
jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend.

In addition, Husband uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as
Romance and Personal Attention and then installed undesirable programs
such as Football, Golf and LND (late night drinking).

Conversation no longer runs, and Housecleaning simply crashes the
system. I've tried running Nagging to fix these problems, but to no
avail.

What can I do?

....................................REPLY.................................

OK Desperate,

First keep in mind, Boyfriend is an Entertainment Package, while Husband
is an Operating System.

Please enter the command: 'www. I Thought You Loved Me.htm' and try to
download Tears and don't forget to install the Guilt update. If that
application works as designed, Husband should then automatically run the
applications Jewellery and Flowers.

But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband to
default to Grumpy Silence or Newcastle Brown.

Newcastle Brown is a very bad program that will download the Constant Snoring Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law (it runs a virus in the
background that will eventually seize control of all your system
resources).

Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend program. This is an
unsupported application and will crash Husband.

In summary, Husband is a great program, but it does have limited memory
and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying
additional software to improve memory and performance.

We recommend Food and Hot Lingerie.

Good Luck, Tech SUPPORT

How not to choose a domain name

All the following domains name are real - if you don't believe us, type them in and see.

www.whorepresents.com

Who Represents is where you can find the name of the agent that
represents any celebrity.

www.expertsexchange.com

Experts Exchange is a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views.

www.penisland.net

Pen Island - pens galore for your desk or as a present.

www.therapistfinder.com

Therapist Finder - find a therapist online

www.powergenitalia.com

Powergen Italia - Italian Power Generator company. The web site is still under construction so we're not sure if this is genuine.

www.molestationnursery.com

Mole Station Native Nursery in New South Wales - no comment.

www.ipanywhere.com

IP Anywhere. - for detecting computer IP addresses.

www.speedofart.com

Speed of Art show their art and design portfolio - is the humour intended?


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Sunday 19 May